Cindy W. Morrison

Why Guilt Should NOT Be A Part Of Your Daily Life

As I sat at my daughter’s rehearsal this morning, I should have been all smiles and full of pride. But I wasn’t it. I wasn’t watching her steps and enjoying her smile. No… instead I was tense, preoccupied and frantically answering emails on my iPhone. Why? Well, I really didn’t have a clue that anything was the matter until the lights came up and all the other mother’s were applauding. (What?! Did I really just miss EVERYTHING! Oops…). As my eyes began to adjust to the bright auditorium, only one thing came to mind: Guilt. Yep, I felt guilty for working when I should have been playing. But hey, maybe I was working BECAUSE I felt guilty for playing when I should have been working. Did I lose you? Welcome to the world of GUILT.

This feeling is nothing new to me. I mean, I grew up in the South, where there is plenty of guilt to spread around! Let’s see… where should I start? Leave the house without lipstick? Guilt! (If you doubt that? Ask my Mom! Speaking of my Mom…) If I don’t call my parents in Texas enough. Guilt! Since I’m a People Pleaser, I can’t say no and I generally end up over-scheduling my schedule. Guilt! After all the stress of reinventing myself, I’m too tired for a little something-something with my husband. Guilt! But I thought my guilt of being a working mom would go away when I could “work the schedule around my kids” after my lay-off. Ha!

For 20 years, I worked morning until night as a TV news anchor and investigative reporter. At a moment’s notice I was ready to leave because of breaking news and always had a bag packed. I’d spent nights at the station when major storms rolled in. And I thought I always had to be reachable 24/7. Uffda. (That’s a hat tip to my great Minnesota friends…) Being ready to leave meant a babysitter on-call. Spending nights at the station meant a fab husband. And being reachable 24/7? That meant I wasn’t always there for my kids. Was I a journalist or a Mother? Oh dear… more GUILT!!

That’s why I thought things would change when the economy took a turn and I got laid off. As an entrepreneur, I could structure my work around my kids, right? Seriously… How hard could it be? I’d be working from home, for goodness sake! Lol! I soon learned, beginning my “work” after they went to school and then stopping by the time they got home didn’t leave much time to write a book, create a business and market the whole dang thing by myself. Even my hubby (God bless him) wondered why I hadn’t cleaned house since I was working from home. Seriously?! DOUBLE GUILT!!!

What I finally realized today? We CAN’T do it all! Superwoman is a GREAT idea but that’s why she’s a cartoon character! The fact is, we are REAL women who are trying to do all the right things while going in a thousand different directions. So, let’s STOP the guilt, take a deep breath and try to do one good thing at a time. Hmmmm… maybe we could even enjoy that one thing while we do it! What a concept!

I vote we take an oath right now:
WE ARE *NOT* GOING TO FEEL GUILTY JUST TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!
Let’s say that all together…
WE ARE *NOT* GOING TO FEEL GUILTY JUST TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!

Yes, feel guilty when you do something you shouldn’t. Feel guilty if you screwed up. But DON’T feel guilty for trying to do it all, Girlfriend! Sometimes our personal lives and work collide. But as much as you can, give yourself permission to ENJOY life! For me? How awesome that my new “situation” means I can set my own hours! That’s right, I can enjoy spending time at my daughter’s rehearsal, even if it means staying up later to get work done. I don’t have to feel guilty because I’m not working during traditional work hours. Sure… I might get less sleep.. but it doesn’t mean I have to feel guilty! Create the life that works best for YOU!!

So, shed the guilt and live your life the way you want to live it! It doesn’t mean you have to do it the way your neighbor does it or the way your mother did it. Chart a new course and ditch the guilt! As long as you’re living life fully and trying to do what’s right for you, the word guilt shouldn’t even be a part of your vocabulary. I can promise you… the next rehearsal I won’t be checking my iPhone for work emails. Instead I’ll be using that cool gadget to take pictures because work will always be there. I now know there should be no guilt for doing what I need to do but also I’ll have no guilt for living in the moment.