Haters = Control Alt Delete
I had a wonderful night planned last night: speak about my upcoming book at an event and then meet with a couple of Girlfriends who’d come to support me. Everything went according to plan until my Crackberry signaled I had mail while I was chatting with one of my Girlfriends. Instantly I curious b/c the email notified me there was a new comment on my Reinvention 2.0 blog. Ooohhh… goodie! That was important enough to steal a quick glance, right? Bad idea. Instead of someone offering support or saying they’d learned something, it was a hater. I totally tuned out my Girlfriend (Sorry Carmen!) and began to obsess about comments from a person I didn’t even know.
In my book Girlfriends 2.0 I talk about the importance of surrounding yourself with the best people possible. Of course that’s a good thing on any given day, but it’s a life saver when “life happens”. I know my Girlfriends and Guyfriends were INVALUABLE when I was laid off, diagnosed with a grapefruit size tumor and ended up on the table of a top ovarian cancer surgeon — all in ONE month last year. My Friends helped me stay sane, get back on track and even laugh (they gave me a bedazzled grapefruit in the hospital.. lol!).
True Girlfriends are the people you want in your life when the chips are down b/c life is full of Wanna Be’s. These are the people who wanna be your friend but they’re emotional vampires who will suck you dry: Suzie Sabotage, Gayle Guilt, Debbie Downer. But one of the most destructive is Helen Hater. This gal is ticked at the world and the more you succeed, the more she hates you. My most recent Helen Hater tried to undermine everything I did when I was team mom of my son’s football team. After an entire season of misery, I finally resigned 2 weeks before the playoffs. I’m not a quitter by any stretch of imagination but I finally realized I couldn’t beat her (or change her), my whole family was miserable and it was a VOLUNTEER job. Buh bye. I remember this great sense of relief when my life was minus a hater. (I could almost hear the angels singing….)
Fast forward to last night. Instead of Helen Hater… this was Hank Hater who invaded my space and ruined my Girlfriend time. On the drive home, I obsessed about the honey sweet email I would send him. And being a follow-through type gal, I ignored my family when I got home and painstakingly wrote him the nicest email you’ve ever read (because, of course, that’s how my mother raised me). I even went to bed in a bad mood. Darn him!!!
Apparently a good night’s sleep helped me regain my senses. Who is this Hank Hater and why is he in my life?! This hater obviously sent his comments to either hurt me or put me in my place (at least the place he thinks I should be). Worst of all: I LET him do it! HELLO?! Well, no more! There’s a reason I have the choice to approve or deny comments on my blog.. just like we all have the right to approve who invades our head. Don’t just try to ignore the haters… push DELETE. These people will chew you up and spit you out just for the joy of doing it. Maybe it’s because they hate their own life or maybe it’s because they need someone else to kick in order to feel better. I don’t know… and I don’t really care anymore. I’m trashing his comment and deleting him from my memory base. It’s time to get back to what’s really important — life, family and friends.
14 Responses to Haters = Control Alt Delete
Leave a Reply
Tweets
- So sad to see Donna Summer isn't w/ us anymore. :( The first time I sang to an audience was the 7th grade talent... http://t.co/RA0IgUI6 4 hrs ago
- Carey Baker from Part Time Pros is sooooo amazing! Can't wait for her book signing tonight! Hmmm... since we've... http://t.co/hdaXkcOu 5 hrs ago
- So thrilled that my social media strategy client Just Between Friends Franchise System, Inc. is once again in the... http://t.co/L3dU1UvJ 5 hrs ago
- Here's @GDGCTulsa TV segment today on @FOX23 about @toryjohnson's #Tulsa #SparkandHustle - http://t.co/f9c9zTVx. BONUS: 5 Facebook Page Tips 1 day ago
- More updates...
Go Cindy! You are so right.
Cindy,
You are so right! This happens more than we realize. Not all of us have a blog to receive the written comments, but they don’t have to written to get the message.
You have a great attitude! I enjoyed your speech last night and am looking forward to your books!
Cindy
I am glad to see you verbalize and share your experience that other people can affect us, postively AND negatively, ONLY if WE let them.
You are right not to give up your power to people who might pull you down. And that is a great lesson to share with everyone.
We should all take your message and allow ourselves to be positively influenced by people like you, and let those who might test us and cast their doubts upon us, go flounder in the waves of their own lack of self esteem and weakness.
Well done girlfriend!
I had the same issue a couple of Saturdays ago when someone basically told me I wasn’t being a good Mom. I OBSESSED about it until, like you, a good night’s sleep help me put it into perspective. NO MORE wasting time and energy on that stuff!
I went through a major friend purge last year getting rid of all of my Hank Haters. It was a hard thing to do as many of them were the parents of my kids’ friends, but it was completely worth it. The weight of the world on my shoulders was gone! Every once in a while a new one sneaks in, but they always expose themselves eventually don’t they? Congrats on getting rid of your latest.
Just because people have access to us through our computers does not mean they have access inside of us- only we can give them that permission. Way to recognize it and move on.
Go Cindy! What you have written is so true! We have to set boundaries and push delete to get those naysayers out of our lives. Thanks for sharing!
Isn’t it crazy how powerful words (good or bad) can be? Just as Jill said, only if you let them. Kudos to you for converting the negative into a positive (recognizing the need to hit DELETE).
That is the perfect way to handle it. Delete!
With all the positive things you have going, the last thing you need is people like that trying to bring you down.
I agree, not worth wasting time on.
I totally know what you are talking about, when you are out there, any not rational person can do things to you on the internet and you really have no recourse. I have had mean irrational people personally attack me on review boards for my business when I try my hardest to please people, but some can never be pleased. So I too know all to well how haters can ruin your day, one’s ruining my week this week
Can’t wait for my copy of your book!
Cindy, you did a great job speaking to our group-had no idea you just were just dumped on by “Downer Dan” Great blog post to boot!
What an exact diagnosis! All haters should be socially outed and then socially ostracized, banished until they are FORCED to examine thier dysfunctional behavior!
Thanks for the information on my total favorite performer. I’ve been a big fan for four years or more. Just amazing.
It is useful to try everything in practice anyway and I like that here it’s always possible to find something new.